Saturday, April 25, 2015

I believe in my self!


I have been "overweight" or chunky all my life, that is just a fact.
I remember being in 5th grade and noticing that my legs (thighs) were really big and even had stretch marks.
Even at my smallest, i was a size 12, This was back in high school.  It was just the way my body is shaped and my culture. I was born in Mexico, land of of the enchiladas and tacos and sour cream on everything. My genes didn't help either. My family is on the heavy set side of the scale. So I thought it was just my destiny to live unhealthy and be "chunky"
35 Years, 3 children later.. my "chunkiness" has just gotten worse.
I would try to eat better, i would try to work out, but I never would stick to anything.
I would start running, only to quit a few weeks later, I would try to eat smaller portions, with no success.

I have cried because i don't have clothes that fit. 
I would get winded just tying my shoes or going up the stairs
I would avoid taking pictures of me, but if someone managed to get me in a picture, i would hate the way i would look in them.
I have been depressed and just sad all around. 
I am not confident at all, there are days where i didn't give a rat's ass on my appearance.
No liking the person i see in the mirror doesn't help your depression, doesn't help your life, and it just drags you down.
In my case, i am emotional eater, which means that when i have issues or something going on, all i can think is what fast food places I am going to go for lunch. 
Eating unhealthy food, just makes me look and feel worse, which just makes me sad, and being sad....well, you get it, just a never ending vicious circle.

I love instagram, I follow a lot of inspirational people, people that are losing weight or that have lost weight, because being healthy and being thin has been a wish of mine. I didn't know if it was ever going to be possible, but I always look for inspiration. Specially on social media.

On Instagram I hard about the 21 days fix, a beachbody fitness program. Now i had heard about Beachbody before, but i had never payed more attention to it.
I don't remember the details, but I ended up purchasing the product from one of the people i follow on instagram. 

I was excited, i thought to, maybe this is it!! Maybe this time i will stick to something.
I got my box in the mail a few days later. I am not going to lie to you, i was scared  overwhelmed. This little box came with workout DVD's, a meal plan, food containers, a bag of shakeology and a lot of information. 

I thought...what the heck...what do i have to lose?? Let's try this thing and see what happens.

The first few days, i was so confused about the food and the amount I should be eating, but as days went on it just got easier and easier. The workouts?? Well those were hard, why?? because I was heavy, a heavy girl trying to do pushups or jumping jacks?? Not fun, not fun at all.

Today a couple of months later, i can tell you that I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!!
I have stuck with this, i have lost about 10-12lbs. My clothes fit better. I have energy, and my confidence is improving every day.
Now, there are days where i see myself in the mirror and the old me creeps up, the negative one that thinks I am too fat, yes, i am still overweight, but I just gotta keep reminding myself that this will take time. It won't change in a month or two, it will take time, but i gotta tell you. This is the first time in a long time where i have hope, i have plans, i have goals. And this makes me feel amazing!!